A Tale of Triumph and Tragedy: King O’Grady III

England-I mean West Potomac has never seen a king like this.


PLEASE NOTE: This is a satire, and is not meant to be taken seriously. 

This is a little look into the great rise and fall of a man yearning to be king, who could not be happy with his fate and took matters into his own hands. His name was Mr. O’Grady. There once was another game show master teacher. His name was Mr. Olivo. He was the shining light to make a time of peace in York- I mean West Potomac. However, Mr. O’Grady, unsatisfied with the fact that he was not the hallmark of the school’s game show teachers, set out on a journey to take what was rightfully his and to be on top. He knew he would have to take some risks, but he was more than determined to be the greatest. He was going to be the Game Show King of West Potomac. He decided he would do this by conquering the epitome of all game shows: Jeopardy.

Using his impeccable intelligence, his skills of deception, and political manipulation, Mr. O’Grady took the online test that is given to the public annually. He passed it with a power that could not be stopped by the strongest winds man has felt. Having achieved this, he was invited to Dupont Circle to audition for the game show (possibly after a couple of years of trying). Using more of his intelligence, skills of deception, and political manipulation, he made the cut, and made it on to the teacher tournament.

He trained with his wife, Mrs. O’Grady, which gave him a great edge in obtaining the power he most desired. She is a history teacher and a human geography teacher, which had at first seemed to help him win a broader array of question types on Jeopardy, but time would tell of a failure that time could simply not erase.

The time for him to make or break came to be, and the soon to be “King of the Game Show Teachers” was on stage with his enemies, ready to pick them off one by one, so that he could keep the position once he held it. The show went underway, and at first he rolled with the punches, knowing the throne is no child’s play, but then he started on a roll, a roll that gave those watching the confidence to believe in a new king, but only reassured what he thought was inevitable victory. Using, with no doubt, his intelligence, skills of deception, and political manipulation, he made it to the daily double, and wagers a good amount, but not enough to blow him back hard.

The answer to the question that Mr. O’Grady had to come up with was “The last King of America.” All of those watching in the kingdom- I mean high school of West Potomac paused for a moment, and he paused himself as well. A question that was perfect for him because of his training, but alas all the intelligence, skills of deception, and political manipulation would not save him from the next words to come out of his mouth.

Around the time that the show was being shot, a tremble in the earth shook, and maybe if you looked into the sky, you could faintly see a single star explode, and you would know it was the wrath of a woman scorned. Mr. O’Grady shakily replied “Who is King George the Second?” At this point people could see that it was the silent explosion of Mrs. O’Grady in the audience that had caused the apocalyptic happenings of that fateful day. Alex Tribek (Host of Jeopardy) told him that he was just one off from having it. However, he did come back from this failure, and won the round to become a semifinalist.

The next round commenced, and a most dreadful surprise occurred. An enemy who he had thought lost in a previous round had come back as a wild card, and she was as determined as him to become game show royalty. She showed no mercy, and this was apparent in her sweeping of the first round. It kept on going, and it became very clear he had little to no shot left. It came to the final jeopardy. He did not bet all of his money on it but a fair amount. However, his face showed discontent upon seeing the question. It was very clear what he wanted to say. It probably would have been the likes of “A shot in the dark, a shot in the dark, my money for a shot in the dark.” (not to be confused with some quote about horses and kingdoms and whatnot).

For all of his intelligence, and skills of deception, and the political manipulation he used up to that point, his power hungry luck finally ran out. In the greatest tragedy he thought mankind had ever seen, he got the question wrong.

Even though Richmond- I mean the wild card won, it was not all that bad for Mr. O’Grady, for his legacy of game showiness aired, and it rallied people together, for if anything, at least a night of fun, and isn’t that what game shows are all about?

(Thank you for being a good sport Mr. O’Grady.)